Girlfriends and Deployments

BCobe · #1 12-17-2010, 07:27 PM

I know there has to be some people in the service on here and I want to know your guy's experience... When I leave it will be four months for us but she said at the begining she wanted to try. Since it seems time is around the corner shes getting real nervous and starting to freak a bit. Kinda cheesy but one of my friends said buy a stuffed animal and spray it with your cologne and give it to her... Which Im thinking about doing... Im in the "Chair Force" dealing with cargo so its not like Im going to be anything to deal with actual combat but shes still freaking.. Oh and the deployments are only 6 months... I know alot say its not worth and or PIIHB, pearl necklace that bitch, smash and dash and theres plenty of vag in the sea.... but so far shes been pretty chill and thats deff been a hard thing to find latley... Trying to find another laptop or netbook for SKYPE but thats all I got right now... What are some things youve guys have done? Recommendations? Im all for dating while deployed is stupid and it hasent been that long.. but shit Ill give it a try at least once

Clinton · #2 12-17-2010, 07:34 PM

I say you both stick to your guns, roll the dice and see how it goes. It may build a good thing for you both.

MooDib · #3 12-17-2010, 07:35 PM

When I was deployed in the Air Force I was married so I didn't have to worry too much about this but some of the same things apply. The bear idea is a pretty good one since it's only a couple bucks to do and it might help. For me I was working on tankers and was far away from the front lines like you will be. Not sure where you are going but the base I was at allowed you to make like 2 calls per week but at my shop you could use the phone every day to call your home base and then have them transfer the call. This let me talk to my wife for 30 minutes a day but it will depend on your base and where you are working/superiors. Towards the end of my time there they were allowing internet usage in the dorms so you could skype or use aim but I never dealt with that and it will also depend on your base. Really it wasn't that bad for me, at least until it is about time to leave and you can't wait. Looking back it was actually kind of fun and didn't have an adverse effect on my relationship, although it might not seem like it at the time. Hopefully she will be ok with you gone and not to get you down but a lot of girlfriends can't handle it and there were a fair amount of people having relationship troubles when I was there whether marriage or girlfriend. Also mail is not that expensive so get some gifts and send it to her.

blkranger231 · #4 12-17-2010, 07:37 PM

Here is the best thing to do man this is my 3rd tour so I have my time with the girls and this. One yeah the bear will help, but you also gotta email and talk to her every chance you are able to get contact is a must in their lifes while you are gone or Jody is gunna move in and fulfill their emotional needs. Email, call, skype, messanger. Send flowers each month its all the small this that matter to them if its ment to be and it works out then it will be gravy but there are those times that they cant handle it so3-5 months down the road you can get a dear john letter. Good luck O and another thing mine likes it when I wake her up in the morn so she can her me you may be able to pull that off to.

BCobe · #5 12-17-2010, 07:40 PM

Yea Im going to Bagram so form what Im hearing their putting in webcams and what not.. Been thinking about the flower things and what not... Deff giving it a shot

01_ranger_4x4 · #6 12-17-2010, 07:54 PM

i spent a year and a half away from my girlfriend when i was deployed and things worked out much better than i thought they would. it was hard at first but after we got into a routine of communication things got a little better. we would usually get off mission late at night or really early morning so that worked out great because of the time difference and i usually had a few minutes to get to the phone center and call home and let her and my family know i made it back to base safe. we were also able to correspond through emails when i could get to a computer. if you have a solid relationships to start out with i dont see any reason you should call it quits before you deploy, especially for only 6 months. whatever you decide to do i wish you the best of luck and i thank you for your service!

SkyYYZ · #7 12-17-2010, 07:58 PM

ditto ... thanks for what you do!

BCobe · #8 12-17-2010, 08:01 PM

01 I dont take offense but I totally forgot you were in the service (remeber you from RF) Thanks for the advice!

blkranger231 · #9 12-17-2010, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCobe

Yea Im going to Bagram so form what Im hearing their putting in webcams and what not.. Been thinking about the flower things and what not... Deff giving it a shot

In Bagram you have it made I was there for a few months last time they had everything you could want.

millerized · #10 12-17-2010, 08:07 PM

First off, thank you for serving your country! Huge shoes to fill, and I'm proud of all folks that do or have done it. Again, thank you!

I guess I've had a different experience. In my 12yrs in uniform WAY back when, there wasn't internet, phone calls were rare, and letters were all you had to go on. Sneaking in for the weekend didn't go as planned, (she was with someone else that night)...I guess I should have called first? Never did see her again after that. Didn't feel the need to.

The last 10yrs in uniform I stayed out of relationships, simply because they just distracted me in an area that distraction could have cost me dearly.

I'd say put it on hold, be apart for your tour. If things work out and you're both ready when you get back, by all means...start over. Not sure of your age, but there are certain things that neither one of you will be able to ignore. It will hurt both of you if you're together (and apart) when it happens.

Just one opinion, based on experience.

01_ranger_4x4 · #11 12-17-2010, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCobe

01 I dont take offense but I totally forgot you were in the service (remeber you from RF) Thanks for the advice!

no offence taken, thanks! oh yeah, and the teddy bear or T-shirt with your cologne on it isnt a bad idea, it does sound silly but my girlfriend wore around one of my shirts while i was gone.

BCobe · #12 12-17-2010, 08:15 PM

Thanks everyone so far for the advice! Yea Bagram is pretty cake compared to what Ive heard.. I was in Kuwait last... Talk about CAKE.... Also no disrespect but save the thank you's for the people that go outside the wire and are in harms way... They give up far more than I am... Just a little problem I have

Brianxlt · #13 12-17-2010, 08:22 PM

After 25 yrs in the Air Force TDY's, deployments and what not I would say you have gotten some pretty good advice, but one thing all have failed to mention. the stuffed animal yes spray it with what ever you use, but sleep with it, hold it, rub on it, sweat on it. it's your smell she will know and remember, not just the cologne you use. (did that onec for the wife, just the cologne the next time I went out she wanted my smell) other then that communication as much & often as you can. if you can go by the flower shop and pre-pay plant (flowers die), card delivery before you go. they should be able to hold each delivery to a predetermined date. (had a friend or relative do it if not)
Good luck and be safe

01_ranger_4x4 · #14 12-17-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCobe

Thanks everyone so far for the advice! Yea Bagram is pretty cake compared to what Ive heard.. I was in Kuwait last... Talk about CAKE.... Also no disrespect but save the thank you's for the people that go outside the wire and are in harms way... They give up far more than I am... Just a little problem I have

where were you stationed in Kuwait? we did a few missions down to Doha (i think thats closed now) and Arifjan. now that place was like club med compared to up north. lol i remember my first mission down there and pulling through the ECP, parking the rigs and walking to the chow hall and getting all kinds of looks because we still had our weapons slung on our backs. no one carried a weapon down there , hell most of them didnt even wear a uniform. lol we would always joke if we knew we had a mission there that flip flops and shorts needed to be on the packing list. lol needless to say i always volunteered for missions there, it was close to 1000 mile round trip but it was worth it. lol

4evermodding · #15 12-17-2010, 08:30 PM

When I joined back in 1976, i did not have to worry about a girlfriend, Hell I had about 50 of them Thai girls and had the pleasure of serving their country well, LOL Tell ya what you do, Tell your girl their is no way you could stay and that's that, in fact tell her I don't belong to you, I belong to uncle SAM, lol

p.s Just kidding and trying to make light of your situation, the truth is i did have plenty of them their Thai Gals, but when i got further down towards my years of retirement, i settled down and met/married and had a set of twins by a beautiful Chinese gal, She was everything to me, of course she passed while giving birth and I lost one of the twins not long ago, I'm all for long distance relations as long as she is in it to win it, no game playing with your mined while you are deployed, your focus needs to be where you are and the long distance and missing each other will be something to look forward to.