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Old 03-09-2010, 01:46 PM
FX4 FX4 is offline
I make paint shine!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 842
Default Darwin Awards

I do enjoy the Darwin awards:

The Darwins are out!!!!

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Provo , Utah would-be robber Jason
Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim
to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he
also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5.. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.. [If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.. The whole event was caught
on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience
store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended
the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The
thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
the lady I stole the purse from."

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun,
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast.. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
2002 Ranger XLT FX4

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Old 03-09-2010, 01:57 PM
Smokey Smokey is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 597
Default Re: Darwin Awards

I like the last one....
1999 3.0 XLT 2WD
3" Performance Accessories Body Lift| 3" Susp. Lift (Coil Spacers w/Blocks in the rear)| 33x12.50 Big Foot X/T's| 70's Style Blade Wheels| Pro Comp ES 3000 Shocks| Fabbed front bumper w/ 4 130W KC Daylighters| Black grille| Cherry Bomb Glass Packs| Fabbed rear bumper w/ detachable tire mount| Stock 3.73 gears.....for now| Auto Trans.

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Old 03-09-2010, 02:51 PM
surfer03133 surfer03133 is offline
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Default Re: Darwin Awards

lol, my favorite Darwin Award was given a couple years ago. A truck driver was transporting fuel for a long time at night. He stopped and suspected that the fuel may be leaking, so he went to check the level of the fuel inside the tank through a hatch that you could open on the top. He didn't have a flashlight with him so he used the next best thing he could find, a box of matches. Little did he know, an open flame and a tanker of gasoline don't mix.
08 Ranger Sport 2wd
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Old 03-09-2010, 02:53 PM
FX4 FX4 is offline
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Posts: 842
Default Re: Darwin Awards

^^^^^ classic
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