Ford Ranger Forum - Forums for Ford Ranger enthusiasts!

Go Back   Ford Ranger Forum - Forums for Ford Ranger enthusiasts! > > >
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Welcome to Ford Ranger Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread

  #1  
Old 07-08-2011, 09:20 AM
btm757 btm757 is offline
In Memory of Jason Finn
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 748
Default Oil Change Instructions

My mom sent this to me and found it quite funny, thought I would share.

> Oil Change instructions for Women:
>
> 1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles
> since the last oil change.
>
> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>
> 3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly
> maintained vehicle.
>
>
> Money spent:
>
> Oil Change:$24.00
>
> Coffee: Complementary
>
> TOTAL: $24.00
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Oil Change instructions for Men:
>
> 1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
> oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use
> your debit card for $50.00.
>
> 2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.
>
> 3. Open a beer and drink it.
>
> 4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>
> 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.
>
> 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>
> 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>
> 10. Unscrew drain plug.
>
> 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in
> process. Cuss.
>
> 12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
> Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
>
> 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
>
> 14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
>
> 15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil
> filter and twist off..
>
> 16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing
> oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash
> in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
>
> 17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil
> to gasket surface.
>
> 18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>
> 19. Remember drain plug from step 11.
>
> 20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>
> 21. Drink beer.
>
> 22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
> Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
>
> 23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
>
> 24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with
> oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
> tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess
> skin between knuckles and frame.
>
> 25. Begin cussing fit.
>
> 26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
>
> 27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left
> dent.
>
> 28. Beer.
>
> 29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
>
> 30. Beer.
>
> 31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
>
> 32. Beer.
>
> 33. Lower truck from jack stands.
>
> 34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
> during any missed steps.
>
> 35. Beer.
>
> 36. Test drive truck.
>
> 37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
>
> 38. truck gets impounded.
>
> 39. Call loving wife, make bail.
>
> 40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.
>
>
> Money spent:
>
> Parts: $50.00
>
> DUI: $2,500.00
>
> Impound fee: $75.00
>
> Bail: $1,500.00
>
> Beer: $20.00
>
> TOTAL: $4,145.00
>
> But you know the job was done right!
__________________
This is Ford Country and On a quiet Night you can Hear a Chevy Rust.
2004 XLT SUPER CAB STEPSIDE 4.0l 4x4 3"BL W/ 33/12.5 KM2s on Black Procomps and I Haz ______/--------- <Cutoff FTW
Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-08-2011, 09:27 AM
GhostRanger GhostRanger is offline
Still here
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 371
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

That is funny as hell. Sounds like my up coming weekend.
__________________
2004 F-150 FX4 Supercab, Dark Shadow Grey, 5.4 liter Triton V8, Flowmaster Cat Back exhaust, K&N Drop-in, Intake "Gotts" Mod, Edge Programmer, 2.5" Level, Front tow hooks, 33" Falken Rocky Mountain ATS
Future mods: CB Radio, Dual band Ham Radio

The older I get the more I realize it is worthless to worry about tomorrow when you are living today. Love your family and friends, live like there is no tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-08-2011, 09:54 AM
nicksranger01 nicksranger01 is offline
Ford Ranger Driver
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,155
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Haha...You forgot the part where the oil gets in your beer some how
__________________
01 Ranger XLT 4.0 Auto stepside 4wd
MODS: K&N drop in with silencer removed, throttle cable mod, HID 6000k, dual exhaust, euro tails, stock rims with 265/75r16 Enduro runway M/Ts (winter tires), bucket seats, center console, and black plastic inside, white gauges, 2 P.Miller 12s with 2 800 watt Pioneer amps, Kenwood deck and Kicker 6x8 in front and pioneer 6x8s in the rear(soon to match the front)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH TECH REDNECK View Post
4.0 sohc pissin people off since 2001
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-08-2011, 11:03 AM
btm757 btm757 is offline
In Memory of Jason Finn
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 748
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicksranger01 View Post
Haha...You forgot the part where the oil gets in your beer some how
hahahhaha True
__________________
This is Ford Country and On a quiet Night you can Hear a Chevy Rust.
2004 XLT SUPER CAB STEPSIDE 4.0l 4x4 3"BL W/ 33/12.5 KM2s on Black Procomps and I Haz ______/--------- <Cutoff FTW
Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-08-2011, 11:14 AM
Twin City Ranger Twin City Ranger is offline
Regular user
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 365
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Similar to when I do "simple" plumbing repairs around the house.
__________________
Dale

2003 XLT Ext Cab. 3.0 2wd. Auto. Current driver.
1996 XLT Reg Cab. 2.3 2wd. Manual. My 1st Ranger.

An expert is someone who knows everything about something they've never done before.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-08-2011, 11:34 AM
TomN TomN is offline
<-----Needs moar liftz
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,125
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

I got a kick outta step 15. Did that the first time because I couldn't get the fram filter off.
__________________
1997 Ranger XLT
4.0 4X4 Lotta Mods.

2001 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. 4.6 V8

Quote:
Originally Posted by richarddhoward View Post
my truck will rape your Honda.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-08-2011, 12:18 PM
brinker88 brinker88 is offline
TTB man
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,920
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Fram BLOWS
__________________
1993 Ford Ranger Ext. Cab | stepside | 4x4 | 4.0L | Lifted | 35" BFG KM2s | MT Classic IIs | Dana 35/Disc 8.8 with 4.56's | Duals | Etc

RIP JASON
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-08-2011, 12:46 PM
TomN TomN is offline
<-----Needs moar liftz
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,125
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Thats why I never use them. Last owner did tho.
__________________
1997 Ranger XLT
4.0 4X4 Lotta Mods.

2001 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. 4.6 V8

Quote:
Originally Posted by richarddhoward View Post
my truck will rape your Honda.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-08-2011, 02:42 PM
03crewcabranger 03crewcabranger is offline
Real Trucks Rattle
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 597
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicksranger01 View Post
Haha...You forgot the part where the oil gets in your beer some how
x3 Hahaha
__________________
05 Mitsubishi Lancer LS
03 Ford Ranger XL - SOLD!
01 Honda Civic LX
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-08-2011, 02:54 PM
brett20 brett20 is offline
BEASTTTT MODEEEE
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,215
Send a message via Yahoo to brett20
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

HAHAHAHAA that is hilariousssss
__________________
2013 f150 fx4 ecoboost. Couple mods
SOLD 2002 silver frost 3.slow xlt.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 07-08-2011, 02:56 PM
Pwrranger Pwrranger is offline
Ford Ranger Owner
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 53
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

y'all jack the truck up when you change your oil? lol
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-08-2011, 03:00 PM
HazardousRanger HazardousRanger is offline
Hazardous to Your Health!
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,995
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

haha hilarious! sounds like my last oil change minus the beer and dui
__________________
Ford Ranger Edge Supercab, 2004 3.0 Auto, 2WD, 4.10 Axle 31x10.5x15 BF Goodrich All Terrain T/A KO's


My Truck Is My Mountain Bike's Ride!

Class III hitch, Rhino Bedliner, Almost Maxed T-Bar Crank, Tuff Country Add A Leaf, Custom Low Anchor Points, OEM ('99) Tow Hooks, Pro Comp Offroad Lights , Mustang Dome Light, Clear Corners, Slim Toolbox, Blinker Mod,Cargo Brake Light Mod,Expo Lighted Visors, Ultra Silverstar heads/fogs, Fog/high mod, Reverse/switched lights, Bike Fork Mounts
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 07-08-2011, 03:25 PM
Fordzilla80 Fordzilla80 is offline
Welcome to FRF!
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,952
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

This reminds me that my oil is due...

Oh, and been there done that with the Fram oil filter. Thank god it was on my F100 with a straight 6.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 07-08-2011, 03:31 PM
Rango88 Rango88 is offline
N/A
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,031
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Lol nice
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 07-08-2011, 10:57 PM
kansasboy91 kansasboy91 is offline
M1911A1 need I say more?
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 292
Default Re: Oil Change Instructions

Don't know how many times I have forgot to put that damn plug back in.
__________________

THEN:2007 Ford Ranger XL, Pueblo Gold 3.0 Vulcan, 5 Speed, 2WD
NOW:2003 Ford Escape Limited 4X4 fully loaded... Needed something cheaper and easier to use in my life cause moving to go to college in a metro with my fiance...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Discuss HOW TO: Change oil on 3.0 edgerider2002 How-To Submissions 28 04-24-2012 08:20 PM
Strange oil consumption after oil change Big Freak 3.0 Vulcan Tech 6 04-04-2012 08:43 PM
oil change oregonhighgp Drivetrain Tech 6 10-17-2010 12:08 PM
How often do you Change oil Bighomedog11 4-Cylinder Tech 48 12-24-2009 04:39 AM
Oil Change Dangles73 General Tech 7 08-05-2009 03:59 PM