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  #1  
Old 08-26-2009, 07:38 PM
mr.ranger mr.ranger is offline
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Talking jokes

anybody know any good jokes that are clean or at least semi-clean in manner...
id love to hear them
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  #2  
Old 08-26-2009, 07:44 PM
STL STL is offline
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What do God and Obama have in common?








































Neither have a birth certificate
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  #3  
Old 08-26-2009, 07:51 PM
mr.ranger mr.ranger is offline
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now thats what im talking about
thanks man
and more more more more.......
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  #4  
Old 08-26-2009, 07:56 PM
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Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called The World.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of Nancy Pelosi, the person you are holding underwater.

There!! See? It really does work. You're smiling already...
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:56 PM
STL STL is offline
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Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico .

This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations. However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and *******es? I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.

No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!
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  #6  
Old 08-26-2009, 08:10 PM
surfer03133 surfer03133 is offline
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what does Obama have in common with JFK and Abraham Lincoln?





Nothing!!!!!............Yet.

j/k
disclaimer: i hope that doesnt happen
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"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
- John F. Kennedy

"Somehow the "god of the athiests" delivers more miracles than all other religion combined than..."
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  #7  
Old 08-27-2009, 05:34 PM
mr.ranger mr.ranger is offline
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did you hear the Wal-mart is having at sale in memory of Micheal Jackson. All boys pants are half off.
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  #8  
Old 10-28-2009, 12:04 AM
blueovelboy blueovelboy is offline
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man i am glad thay found that boy in the balloon for a second i thought Micheal Jackson order take out form heaven
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  #9  
Old 10-28-2009, 12:20 AM
mb128 mb128 is offline
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lol very nice!
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  #10  
Old 10-28-2009, 04:43 AM
big green big green is offline
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why did micheal jackson call boyz 2 men


he thought it was a delivery service
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  #11  
Old 10-28-2009, 11:42 PM
chainfire chainfire is offline
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What does MacDonalds and Micheal Jackson have in common?


The both like to stick their meat in 12 year old bunz!
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  #12  
Old 07-01-2010, 09:56 AM
Tom Tom is offline
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Default Re: jokes

Two cows are standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Hey... are you at all worried about that Mad Cow Disease?"

The other cow shrugs and replies, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"
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  #13  
Old 07-01-2010, 12:33 PM
TurdFX4 TurdFX4 is offline
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Default Re: jokes

Did you hear that Will Smith is being charged with murder?

He wouldve gotten away with it but they found fresh prints


How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry It


2 Prostitutes are standing on a street corner, one turns to the other and says "You ever been picked up by the fuzz before? the other says "No... but Ive been swung around by the tits before"
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  #14  
Old 07-01-2010, 12:39 PM
rangerdanger745 rangerdanger745 is offline
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Default Re: jokes

Two guys are riding dirt roads. They run up on a cow with its head stuck in the fence. The driver stops and runs to the back of the cow, pulls down his pants and goes to town on the cow. He yells to his buddy "you better come get some of this before its gone!" his buddy then runs to the fence, sticks his head in and drops his pants.
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  #15  
Old 07-01-2010, 01:26 PM
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Default Re: jokes

A guy walks into a brand new high-tech bar. The robot bartender asks him what he'd like, and the man says, "A martini, please." The robot serves him the best martini the guy has ever had, and while the guy is drinking it, the robot asks, "What is your I.Q. ?" The man replies, "168." The robot then spends the next 20 minutes or so discussing particle physics, quantum mechanics, and data encryption technology with the man. Having finished his drink, the man thanks the robot for the drink and the conversation.

Walking down the street, the man becomes a bit intrigued with the whole idea, and steps back into the bar. The robot bartender asks him what he'd like, and again the man says, "A martini, please." Just like the previous time, he is served the best martini he has ever had. Again, the robot asks, "What is your I.Q.?" This time, the man says, "100", and the robot spends the next 20 minutes discussing NASCAR, Budweiser, and John Deere tractors. Having finished his drink, the man again thanks the robot for the drink and the conversation, and leaves the bar.

Still fascinated by the robot's ability to gauge the conversation based on I.Q., the man decides to enter the bar a third time. Like before, the man orders and is served the best martini he has ever had. This time, when the robot asks the man's I.Q., the man responds, "86". The robot says nothing for a few minutes, then looks to the left and then to the right before slowly bending over the bar and whispering to the man:












"Do ... you ... guys ... still ... feel ... good ... about ... your ... choice ... in ... the ... last ... presidential ... election?"
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