have a fav joke post it and share here - Page 3

stephen.g.fiddes · #31 08-31-2010, 06:39 AM

womens rights.

Demon-FX4 · #32 08-31-2010, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephen.g.fiddes

womens rights.

low blow buddy

trcothorn · #33 08-31-2010, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pbav8tor

Learning Anatomy

Aging Annie was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Joe. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Joe's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
‘On a woman,’ the doctor said, ‘your heart would be just below your left breast.’

Later that night, Annie was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

hahaha i like that one

2004xlmiller · #34 09-01-2010, 05:15 PM

thats hella funny!!

Demon-FX4 · #35 09-01-2010, 05:34 PM

Come on guys post more jokes

TurdFX4 · #36 09-01-2010, 05:36 PM

Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?

It's rated Arrrr
___________________

In honor of Michael Jackson's passing, Wal-Mart is having a sale.

Young Boys Pants, 50% off

stephen.g.fiddes · #37 09-01-2010, 05:38 PM

There was a girl sitting at a bar stroking the base of a beer bottle. Her friend walks up to her and says "Why do you look so down?" The girl replied "I feel guilty for cheating on my husband..." "Why are you cheating on him?" her friend said. The girl started stroking the neck of the bottle and said. "I don't know, I just... Don't enjoy being around him as much anymore..."

2004xlmiller · #38 09-01-2010, 05:51 PM

why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

because she wanted to make up her mind.

2004xlmiller · #39 09-01-2010, 05:52 PM

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

trcothorn · #40 09-01-2010, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephen.g.fiddes

There was a girl sitting at a bar stroking the base of a beer bottle. Her friend walks up to her and says "Why do you look so down?" The girl replied "I feel guilty for cheating on my husband..." "Why are you cheating on him?" her friend said. The girl started stroking the neck of the bottle and said. "I don't know, I just... Don't enjoy being around him as much anymore..."

ok im dumb but anybody want to explain this one to me

stephen.g.fiddes · #41 09-01-2010, 09:49 PM

Hint: what does a girl stroke on a guy? Lol

Pbav8tor · #42 09-07-2010, 12:46 PM

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Pbav8tor · #43 09-07-2010, 12:47 PM

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him.
'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Pbav8tor · #44 09-07-2010, 12:48 PM

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

Pbav8tor · #45 09-07-2010, 12:50 PM

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went flying.