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  #46  
Old 10-12-2010, 07:41 PM
TurdFX4 TurdFX4 is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

What Does Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?


Their greatest hit was The Wall
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  #47  
Old 10-12-2010, 11:46 PM
Demon-FX4 Demon-FX4 is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurdFX4 View Post
What Does Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?


Their greatest hit was The Wall
ouch man lol thats harsh
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Don't worry I next time I will just buy bolt ons so I can be just like you. Then I can drive around with unpainted fender flares and have a real prerunner
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  #48  
Old 10-13-2010, 04:07 AM
crowdpleazer crowdpleazer is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

^ yea that is...
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new project: dirt track modified racing at the local saturday night track.
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  #49  
Old 10-13-2010, 04:29 AM
richarddhoward richarddhoward is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

What happens when a blonde dyes her hair brown?


Artificial Intelligence
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Quote:
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I think Henry just shit himself
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radness View Post
Its kind of like that carnival game "Whack A Mole" but with guns! Haha
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  #50  
Old 10-13-2010, 07:58 AM
stephen.g.fiddes stephen.g.fiddes is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pbav8tor View Post
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went flying.
He needs to have his dick cut off for being a dumb-ass... stupid people shouldn't breed.
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Originally Posted by Fourliter Dan View Post
and as for boobs, as long as the cant hold up a book with sag, pointed in the right direction and not peperoni or canadian bacon nips were good to go!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fx4wannabe01 View Post
ok...i'll just come out and say it... you got's an auto. That alone revokes your right to brag about being part of the elite Level II's! Take that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clinton View Post
Oh come on....every girl likes pink....even Demon
Buy my pictures at Imagekind!
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  #51  
Old 10-13-2010, 11:16 AM
azgilamonster azgilamonster is offline
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurdFX4 View Post
Darknesses!




What did the one Lesbian Vampire say to the other Lesbian Vampire?



"See you next month"

to keep on the vampire side of humor:
what are used tampons used for?



tea bags for vampires!!!
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2001 Ranger Edge 4x4 , Stepside,FRF decals, 4.0L SOHC decals, Primus IQ brake controller, curt 2" rec. hitch, custom winch mount,
Tinted glass, Yellow BUGGMAN OVALS a real treat to have. OHC, CB, night vision goggles, 36" periscope,
DiabloAmarillo = The Yellow Devil
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  #52  
Old 10-13-2010, 11:19 AM
azgilamonster azgilamonster is offline
grumpy old ford driver
 
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurdFX4 View Post
Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?



It's rated Arrrr
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In honor of Michael Jackson's passing, Wal-Mart is having a sale.


Young Boys Pants, 50% off


continue with the michael jackson..

what college did michael jackson like the best?

bringham young university
__________________
2001 Ranger Edge 4x4 , Stepside,FRF decals, 4.0L SOHC decals, Primus IQ brake controller, curt 2" rec. hitch, custom winch mount,
Tinted glass, Yellow BUGGMAN OVALS a real treat to have. OHC, CB, night vision goggles, 36" periscope,
DiabloAmarillo = The Yellow Devil
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  #53  
Old 10-13-2010, 01:04 PM
afogle2 afogle2 is offline
Liking the Ford Ranger Forum
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 23
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Teacher: Can anyone use the word “definitely” in a sentence?
Student: I have a question?
Teacher: Go ahead.
Student: Are farts lumpy?
Teacher: No.
Student: Well then I definitely just shit myself.
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  #54  
Old 10-13-2010, 02:37 PM
azgilamonster azgilamonster is offline
grumpy old ford driver
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,286
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

ford jokes and sayings:
" FORD JOKES

WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?

So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?

To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD

FORD ACRONYMS:

Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road Dead

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Fixed On Race Day

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

Found On Russian Dump

For Off Road Death

it Freaking Only Runs Downhill

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)

Frigin Oakies Really Dig it

Funky Old Road Dog

Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty

Found on Road Ditches

PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER

"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."

This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Fords, our tools would rust.

This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Ford trucks the worst always rest

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.

Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enoug to run a race before needing another weeks work.

WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS AND CARS MORE AERODYNAMIC?

So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.

WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Rustang, The Ford Muststink

WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?

Because the President drives a Ford

WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?

Would you like a tow home?

HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK OR CAR?

Put a Chevy engine in it.

HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?

As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?

A ford thunderturd

SPEED KILLS DRIVE A FORD LIVE FOR EVER

I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?

Fill it with gas!

The Ford Escort. Otherwise known as The Ford Escort Me To A Chevy Dealer!

Have You Out Driven a Ford Lately?

Ford is just another four letter word!

The Ford Ranger, Otherwise know as the Ford Danger!

The Ford Explorer, Otherwise know as the Ford Exploder! "
__________________
2001 Ranger Edge 4x4 , Stepside,FRF decals, 4.0L SOHC decals, Primus IQ brake controller, curt 2" rec. hitch, custom winch mount,
Tinted glass, Yellow BUGGMAN OVALS a real treat to have. OHC, CB, night vision goggles, 36" periscope,
DiabloAmarillo = The Yellow Devil
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:13 PM
stephen.g.fiddes stephen.g.fiddes is offline
Next-best to Chuck Norris
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 795
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

God damn.... lol


Funny thing is, id still rather drive a ford. Chevys feel like toys, and it gives me something to work on.plus, then I know my truck better and how to fix it lmao.
__________________
Schwinn Super-Sport, Nikon D90 ROLLED: 2001 Ford Ranger XLT Super Cab 4X4MODS
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fourliter Dan View Post
and as for boobs, as long as the cant hold up a book with sag, pointed in the right direction and not peperoni or canadian bacon nips were good to go!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fx4wannabe01 View Post
ok...i'll just come out and say it... you got's an auto. That alone revokes your right to brag about being part of the elite Level II's! Take that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clinton View Post
Oh come on....every girl likes pink....even Demon
Buy my pictures at Imagekind!
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  #56  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:23 PM
TurdFX4 TurdFX4 is offline
Sept. 2011 TOTM
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,771
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

Quote:
Originally Posted by azgilamonster View Post
ford jokes and sayings:
" FORD JOKES

WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?

So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?

To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD

FORD ACRONYMS:

Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road Dead

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Fixed On Race Day

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

Found On Russian Dump

For Off Road Death

it Freaking Only Runs Downhill

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)

Frigin Oakies Really Dig it

Funky Old Road Dog

Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty

Found on Road Ditches

PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER

"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."

This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Fords, our tools would rust.

This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Ford trucks the worst always rest

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.

Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enoug to run a race before needing another weeks work.

WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS AND CARS MORE AERODYNAMIC?

So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.

WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Rustang, The Ford Muststink

WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?

Because the President drives a Ford

WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?

Would you like a tow home?

HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK OR CAR?

Put a Chevy engine in it.

HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?

As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?

A ford thunderturd

SPEED KILLS DRIVE A FORD LIVE FOR EVER

I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?

Fill it with gas!

The Ford Escort. Otherwise known as The Ford Escort Me To A Chevy Dealer!

Have You Out Driven a Ford Lately?

Ford is just another four letter word!

The Ford Ranger, Otherwise know as the Ford Danger!

The Ford Explorer, Otherwise know as the Ford Exploder! "
Blasphemy!
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  #57  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:53 PM
04RangerFX2 04RangerFX2 is offline
Rest in Peace Jason Finn
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 281
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

> On the first day of the new school year in the 6th grade the teacher
> decided to get to know the kids by asking them to tell their
> name and what their father does for a living.
>
> The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my daddy
> is a postman." "That's great," says the teacher.
>
> Next a little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is an
> automobile mechanic." "Wonderful!" says the teacher.
>
> Then the next kid says: "My name is Jimmy and my father is
> a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

> The teacher gasps in horror and disbelief and quickly
> decides to stop this and immediately starts in to math.
> Later at recess, she pulls Jimmy to the side and privately
> asks him if it was really true that his Daddy dances nude in
> a gay bar.
>
> He blushes, looks around, and says "No, my Dad is really
> a player for the Kansas City Chiefs, but I was
> just too embarrassed to say so."
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  #58  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:55 PM
stephen.g.fiddes stephen.g.fiddes is offline
Next-best to Chuck Norris
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 795
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

^^ that's fuckin funny!
__________________
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fourliter Dan View Post
and as for boobs, as long as the cant hold up a book with sag, pointed in the right direction and not peperoni or canadian bacon nips were good to go!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fx4wannabe01 View Post
ok...i'll just come out and say it... you got's an auto. That alone revokes your right to brag about being part of the elite Level II's! Take that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clinton View Post
Oh come on....every girl likes pink....even Demon
Buy my pictures at Imagekind!
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 10-14-2010, 01:34 PM
Demon-FX4 Demon-FX4 is offline
I'm a Demon, So F off!
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6,075
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Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

i love this thread
__________________
2003 FX4 LEVEL II
Quote:
Originally Posted by 03 SB FX4 View Post
My D-max - will pull the Cummin' Stroke it all night long!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 99RangerAlfredo View Post
Nooo Demon does badd things to me when no one looks!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdawall View Post
Don't worry I next time I will just buy bolt ons so I can be just like you. Then I can drive around with unpainted fender flares and have a real prerunner
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 10-16-2010, 08:12 PM
basschick22 basschick22 is offline
Liking the Ford Ranger Forum
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 27
Default Re: have a fav joke post it and share here

I heard this one last night in a Foster's beer commercial....

How do you tell the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?...

...beer nuts are about $1.50 ...and deer nuts are under a buck!
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'99 Ranger XLT 4x4 3.0L V6 Auto
Extended Cab Flareside
FlexFuel
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