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  #1  
Old 05-01-2015, 08:11 PM
Jaybones Jaybones is offline
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Default Ranger joke

OK, its a Ranger joke. The Lone Ranger

So the Lone Ranger finally gets captured by the Comanche. They torture him for weeks- tying him to an ant hill, leaving him in the sun without water, beating him, using fire to torture him, everything they can think of and more but he never breaks. He never cries out or begs, he just takes everything they can dish out as stoic as ever.

The chief is impressed, and says to him "Lone Ranger. You've been a worthy adversary. You've always treated us with respect and I admire the way you held up under our torture. We're going to kill you in the morning, and I'm going to grant you one last request."

Lone Ranger says "I want you to let my horse go, but first I want a moment with him."

The chief is further impressed with him, putting his horse's needs beyond his own and grants the request.

Silver is lead up to the Lone Ranger, who rubs his neck and the horse nuzzles his face. The Lone Ranger steps back and says "Go on, git!" And the horse gallops away.

The chief says "Very well, sleep well for in the morning you are going to be killed. I will make sure it is as quick and painless as possible, and I regret what we've done to you so far. But, you understand, it is our way whenever we capture white men."

In the morning they've got the Lone Ranger and are ready to execute him when a dust cloud appears on the horizon. It gets closer and closer and the Comanche gather their weapons and take up defensive positions.

Pretty soon they see that its only one horse, and as it gets closer they see that its Silver with a single rider. Silver runs right up amongst them and bucks off the single rider who happens to be a naked woman. She lands at the Lone Ranger's feet, naked on her back.

The Lone Ranger drops his pants, gets on top and really gives it to her. For hours he screws her, and once he's done he gets up and fastens his pants.

The chief and the rest of the braves are impressed by the Lone Ranger's stamina, and the chief says "Well done, well done! As you have shown your mettle as a warrior during our torture and now your prowess with a woman I will give you another day to live. But tomorrow we will kill you."

Lone Ranger says "Can I have one more request?" The chief agrees and the Lone Ranger asks for Silver to go free again, and to have another moment with him before he goes. Chief agrees again, but says "This is the last delay, and no more final requests. You will have your time with your horse again, and he will be set free again, and in the morning you will be killed!"

The Lone Ranger thanks the chief and goes to Silver. He leans over and whispers in his ear "Now listen. Go to town and bring back a posse! POSSE you stupid horse!"
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  #2  
Old 05-01-2015, 10:06 PM
GLH GLH is offline
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Man I just don't know.
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  #3  
Old 05-01-2015, 10:32 PM
capgun1994 capgun1994 is offline
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Lol I think you deserve credit just for typing all of that out. I chuckled.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:42 PM
TerrenceStuart TerrenceStuart is offline
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Default Re: Ranger joke

Unless he uses Dragon.
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  #5  
Old 05-02-2015, 05:24 PM
Jaybones Jaybones is offline
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Default Re: Ranger joke

Nope, I typed every word of it. FWIW I'm a touch key typist, and the fastest I ever did was 90 words a minute. That was when I was in college typing big papers all the time. I figure I'm still about 60 WPM.
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Old 05-02-2015, 05:52 PM
GLH GLH is offline
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My best consistent time in high school was 72 wpm 0 mistakes. On an IBM Selectric.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:07 PM
Jaybones Jaybones is offline
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Default Re: Ranger joke

I learned on one of those. Already had s little experience with my mom's electric, and I wasn't able to get over low 60's perfect. Wasn't yet a touch key, and got a D- in the class. I was the fastest in the class, but the teacher said he wouldn't give me anyone a higher grade then D- if they couldn't learn to touch key.
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