from the lamps to "load" on switch.
from a fused source to "supply" on the switch
from a solid ground to "earth" on the switch.

the friend who helped me is a certified ase mechanic and assures me that this is safe.
I just have to manually use the switch when I want to turn on/off the lamps.
friend told me the relay for a 55 watt is just "more protection" from fires, but that would be impossible because that's what the fuse is for.
if anything happens, fuse blows, lights go out, no chance of fire

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2001 Ranger Edge 4x4 (sold)
2006 F150 Lariat 4x4 (sold)
2007 Explorer XLT (Destroyed by Deer on highway)
2014 Explorer XLT (inherited from parents)